Life is full of negativity, it is full of bad experiences, but what do you do when you confront adverse situations in your life?
I learned in that terrible year after the death of my wife what not to do.
I learned from the many deaths in my family that a person cannot live if he/she closes himself to everyone close to him.
That is what I did in that year that turned into a living hell. I hope you who are reading this will not do what I did if you find yourself in a life-changing situation. I hope you will read on and find out what I did to get on the path to healing.
After such a difficult time in life, we need to be open to other people. We need to talk to other people. We need to get the feelings out of our mind and out in the air.
Only then can we begin to heal ourselves. Only then can we begin to see that life continues, and those who are now gone cannot prevent us from continuing to live a good and productive life, a life with love in it. We cannot let those who are no longer with us stop us from living. I think it doesn't matter if those people, or that person, are still alive or has gone on to a higher place. We must put them in the back of our mind and focus on our live going forward. I will never forget any I have lost, but my life is not ruled by the loss of them. My life is ruled by my love for them and the knowledge that they would want me to continue the best I can, even without them.
I have memories of my wife returning to my mind ever day, maybe only a few seconds, maybe many minutes. I remember my brothers often. Nevertheless, they are gone and that cannot stop me from living a life of happiness and fulfillment.
Sometimes I have negative thoughts in my mind, but when I do, I force those negative thoughts away by thinking of something positive. I do not dwell on the negativity; I do not dwell on the losses.
To live life to its fullest we must maintain a positive attitude. We must push the negative thoughts back into the dark corners where they came from. Once those negative thoughts are back in their corners we must leave them there, let them live there alone and untouched. We must not return to them and pick them and look at them over and over. That will only result in us becoming bitter and angry people. All our family and friends will see that bitterness and anger in our life, in our attitude, in our personality, in our speaking. There's no hiding that from anyone. Push those negative experiences, memories, back into their corner and leave them there where they belong.
Try to begin living in the light of a new attitude, a new presence, a life that will bring happiness and joy into your soul. Find something that makes you smile. Find something that makes you happy. Then do that whatever-it-is you found. Do it because it will bring a smile to your face. Do it because it will help you heal. Do it because it will help you move your life forward.
I have always loved being out in the natural world - the mountains of Washington state, the Mountains and the deserts of Arizona. The beach of Rocky Point, Mexico. I found joy, peace, happiness when I was hiking, 4x4 off-roading, sitting in the sunshine and listening to the sounds of the natural world around me. That is where I found, and still find, peace and joy. Not so much in solitude, which is nice from time to time, but those times when I needed to recharge my soul, my spirit, and clear my mind.
Whether a person in such a situation as I was in back in 2010 and 2011, or is in a completely different situation, such as a broken heart, the outcome is similar. Not the same, but similar - we need to heal, we need to rejuvenate, we need to take the time to learn who we are without that other person in our life. It's not easy. But, it is a choice. You have to choose - do I move forward or stagnate where I am? Do I look for happiness and joy, or do I settle for anger and bitterness? For me the answer was easy - move forward into a life of fulfillment, personal, spiritual, fulfillment. A life of happiness and joy in everything. I chose to change my attitude and change my life and I've had no second thoughts or doubts about what I chose to do. And remember this: there's always hope.